Poseidon (2006) ©2006 Steve Anthony. All rights reserved.
One would think that with Sheila Allen, widow of the late great action director Irwin Allen, at the helm as Executive Producer of this latest installment of Paul Gallico’s book “The Poseidon Adventure,” that the filmmaker’s would never violate Mr. Allen’s first rule of a good script and subsequently a good movie. That rule, which he stated one evening in a television interview prior to the premiere of the 1972 film, was something like, “You don’t kill people on page 10 of a script. You get to know them first and then kill them on page 30.”
In “Poseidon,” which runs 19 minutes shorter than 1972's adventure, there is no time to develop great characters before disaster occurs, and although the acting is very good, without memorable characters the film is not as good as it could have been. Perhaps the filmmakers assumed we already knew the characters, but that’s not true when you change the actors portraying them or their circumstances within the story as is the case here. Sure, we know them to a degree, but not well enough to go beyond the classic roles we are so familiar with.
Also missing on this boat ride is any real interaction between the main characters; and the great one liners of the original that relieved the tension of the situation. You won’t hear lines like Stella Stevens as Mrs. Rogo, mocking her policeman husband, played by Ernest Borgnine, with, “Maybe you can just yell, ‘THIS IS THE POLICE!’ and it’ll open right up!” or just generally griping, “I’m going next, so if old fat ass gets stuck in there, I won’t be stuck behind her,” as the journey to find safety takes them through a cramped air duct. In fact, one of the biggest problems with "Poseidon" is the lack of any real humor to break up the drama and terror the characters face from scene to scene, which deprives the audience of the chance to relax. But, you can't have humor during a disaster if no one knows anyone else, and unlike the survivors of the original, who banded together, these people really couldn't care less about each other.
Once this Poseidon is capsized by a rogue wave, now known to be a natural phenomenon, instead of a tsunami generated by an undersea quake as it's predecessor was, there’s hardly time to take a breath, and the adrenaline never stops for the remainder of the film. This actually adds to the claustrophobic effect of corridors and crawlspaces filled with fire, water, and dead bodies. In fact, it leaves us feeling as rushed as the actors to find a way out.
One has to wonder what lies on the cutting room floor of “Poseidon,” which, like most films, probably holds some great unseen work by the actors, and maybe the extra 19 minutes needed to make us sympathize more with their characters, as we enjoy the roller coaster ride up to the bottom of the ship. I suspect, however, that even with restored footage we wouldn’t have a character with as much depth as Belle Rosen as portrayed by Shelley Winters; Rogo fleshed out by Ernest Borgnine; or Reverend Scott, courtesy of Gene Hackman.
The movie does provide a visual extravaganza of the stark realism typical of movies of the last few years, and when people are cut, crushed, drowned, burned, or electrocuted, you can almost feel their blood dripping on you, their aching lungs gasping for air, and smell their flesh burning.
Poseidon is worth seeing if only for the adrenaline filled ride and realistic special effects it offers, but with Lucas, Russell, and Dreyfuss on board, it could have been a much better film if we had had more time to get to know the people we were taking the ride with.
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